So for the past couple weeks I have been struggling with the idea that my boyfriend does not believe in marriage and more so the wedding celebration of one. He does, however, does not mind doing these things with me. Here then in lies the struggle.
I understand not believing in holy matrimony or anything holy at all. Religion is the non issue. His belief is that marriage and more specifically weddings are a dead tradition and they do not stand for the same core reasons they used to. (No dowry or the ceremonial release of virginal property.) This is all fine with me because I do not believe in these things either.
This is what I do believe: I believe that marriage is a promise. It is a promise to hangout with your best friend for as long as it takes. It’s a promise that on the first person’s death bed the other will be right there. It’s a promise that if children do come into the picture the other will not jump ship. It is a promise that there will be tears and fights as well as laughter and sex. Marriage is a promise of love and support. I do not understand how any of these things could be a dead institution.
Weddings are the celebration and declaration of stated promises. Weddings are a giant party where a couple declares that they have done the impossible; they have found someone who is willing to be with them for them. Weddings are an excuse to get all of the families together and get gifts and eat cake.
I have given up one for the other. At the end of the day relationships are about love. So why would I share that day with someone who would or could be miserable because they do not believe in the same fundamental beliefs? Weddings are a celebration and not a death sentence.